I swear I miss the strangest things that I never thought I would.  I thought I'd miss a specific food or ache to return home for fear of missing out.  But most of my friends just graduated and everyones lives have swept on my way or another anyways.  I miss the strangest things that come at random moments.  I don't miss any food.  I miss things I shared with my significant other that I never even knew I looked for to.  I don't ache to return home in fear I'm missing out.  When I return home, I will then again be in search for a job, I will be living at home, and I will be trying to figure out what the heck I want from life.  I thought while here I'd have plenty of time to do some "soul searching" and figure out what it is I most wanted and the direction I needed to go.  But nothing has came to mind and nothing has changed on my decisions for the future (or lack of decisions).  But I have found some freedom.  I have found freedom in knowing that it's okay to not know my next move.  It's okay to change your mind day-to-day.  I'm 23 and I wish I had more of an idea of what I wanted, but there's only one thing for certain I know right now.  I have had a lot of time to read while here and I came across a point well made that the lack-of-decision is actually the enemy.  That no matter where or what the starting point is, one can only move forward from there.  Even if it is not your permanent direction you learn and you grow, and that can only benefit you. So, as long as I keep moving, and keeping jumping, and keep trying, I have decided that that is enough.

I became "homesick" two weeks ago, so I moved forward. I agreed to meet a man out (from a mutual friend) to help him with his English.  I booked a trip to Rome for the weekend.  The man I met turned out to be a very awesome, and talented man.  He was published in Times magazine last year for his works. We sat and talked for an hour or so and I got to see and hear about his history with his artwork, we shared music and stories.  The next morning I left on my train to go to Rome.  On the way there I sat across from an Australian (one of many I'd meet that weekend). This Australian spoke of his travels he'd been on and his plans to continue travel.  He stuck out to me because unlike a lot of the people I met we didn't try to extend the moment into the future by sharing numbers, Facebook accounts, names, etc.  We both talked about this and how pointless it was because the people you meet will always be a memory of a weekend or a fun night at dinner but it's rare it extends beyond this.  He too found the tourist attractions interesting but prefer the experience of the travel in itself.  He told me to let life happen and go with whatever comes my way.  It is nothing, something I've heard a million times, but I think I will always remember this man.  And following that, I had an amazing weekend in the great Roman city. :)

"How wild it was, to let it be." - Cheryl Strayed

Two more weeks have passed already! I can't tell whether time is flying by or moving extremely slow.  It seems like so much has happened and changed since I first arrived.  I'm doing great though! Some days are hard, I don't know why exactly.  I guess I miss the familiarity that comes with being back in the USA.  Here, everything is new, I feel like I am constantly out of my comfort zone, and some days it can be tiring.  But for each hard day or hard moment, there's a day or a moment of greatness that tops it.  In those moments I always remember my motivation to do this and how wonderful it is to get to see, experience, and feel all I have in the last few weeks.  It is some kind of high that can't be topped.  I have a feeling it is a high I will be searching to find for the rest of my life.  It's so beautiful to be able to see the different people and their stories. I remind myself that I am the foreigner here, I am the stranger in a new place, and I should be open to all the new things here.  I get to live life a bit differently for awhile, and I cannot unsee all the things I have seen here.  I think the things that I am learning from this are becoming central to the person that I am.

I am learning to drive a manual! Claudio has taken me out to drive a few times.  He told me I'm free to take it now as I wish, but I asked him for a few more lessons first.  In the meantime, I have a bike I can ride and he also lets me use his moto (a little motor bike).  Some afternoons I am with the kids but if an adult is home I'm able to go ride around for a bit, which is so nice to explore on my own! I am getting a lot more familiar with the city now and even went to the bank, the pharmacy, and the electronic store, where I successfully handled my business. :) For me, it was an exciting moment to be able to do that! On Wednesday nights in July there is a night tour by bike around the city. Last week we went on it, and let me say it was GORGEOUS. It was also a work out, my legs were struggling up some of the hills! This week we went to Portonovo, about an hour from here.  On the drive there, you are going in and out of mountains.  You see fields of sunflowers and rolling hills.  At the beach, on one side is the mountains and a lake, the other side the blue sea.  I think we will return again to the beach in the next few weekends.

Since I last wrote I also went to Florence.  I never have traveled completely alone before, but I enjoyed it.  You have a lot of freedom and are able to enjoy the trip in your own way.  In some moments I do wish I had someone to share it with though.  I stayed at a hostel not far from the city center.  There were 4 guys in my room that were backpacking around for a few months and I got to hear about their stories and experiences so far.  They just graduated college and were from the east coast of the USA.  The first night I met a group of 5 from the USA in the main area.   I was feeling sick (my throat) but I still went with them to dinner and then walked around after for quite awhile.  I got to see Florence at night this way, and it is lit up! The piazzas are filled with people and restaurants with patios.  There was an orchestra playing in one and in another there was a man playing acoustic music (that I LOVE).  The next day I woke up and went to see all the touristy things I could find.  I walked through the market, saw Ponte Vecchio, the Duomo, etc.  In my hostel room the next night I was in a 6 person room and one of the guys was traveling alone.  He was a Korean guy that was few years younger than me, but we decided to go to dinner and try a Florentine steak.  It is definitely the most raw steak I've ever had, but it was DELICIOUS. We followed it up with some dessert. And then went our separate ways!

I ran into a friend from high school randomly on Ponte Vecchio! I also ate at McDonald's while I was waiting my train to leave and ended up sitting next to a guy who had graduated from OU in 2012. He was backpacking around Europe for the summer while he had time off work.  It makes you realize how small the world is.  Which was a different feeling I had from when I was wandering around Florence thinking of all the things I haven't seen and didn't know of its existence. Anyways, I really enjoyed my trip even though I spent it sick somewhat.  I am planning to go to Sicily to see a friend soon and to Rome too!

I finally met some friends here in Fabriano this weekend. I hadn't been around people my own age in so long! I went to a couple hangout places here with them and then we went to a city nearby to an outside discoteca.  They were so welcoming and fun!! I'm really glad I met them, now I can get a taste of what the people my age do here on the weekends.  It's also nice after a week of being busy to have the weekends to go have fun! I don't have access to Netflix (my love) here and a lot of tv networks I can't access online, so, I have been reading a lot in my freetime.  I've already lost 4 lbs too being here because of how much fresher and natural the food is.  I think it's that anyways, because I have ate endless and vast amounts of food, I shouldn't be losing weight at all!

I will post again soon when I have the time :)
Good wishes to all!

“To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” – Bill Bryson

La spiaggia di Portonovo, Italia

Luciana, Sofia, e Gabri

week 1

Wow, this last week of my life has been so filled. I arrived in Fabriano last Tuesday afternoon after 2 planes and 2 trains. Navigating my way through the massive Rome train station with out previous experience or instruction was a choir. But I got on my train just to find out I was in the wrong car and also that I had failed to validate my ticket, which left me with a hefty fine that I tried not to calculate from euros to dollars to save my insanity. But I made it! On my first plane ride I sat near a lady who was a foreign exchange student in Germany 36 years ago. Since then she has hosted many exchange students. She was on her way to Europe to see her old German family and visit other students she had previously. She offered me advice and even gave me a contact over here in Italy. She told me after all this time she still can speak fluently, that once it clicked,  it was there for good. On my second plane ride I sat next to a man and his child who were headed to Italy, where his wife and the boys mother was from. They were headed to the grandparents house. He too offered me a lot of helpful advice for my stay. I love meeting people and hearing their stories, they have been so eager to help to and point me in a good direction.

Anyways, when I arrived in Fabriano,  Luciana, the mother of the family im staying with greeted me. She took me to lunch at a delicious little place here. I cannot say enough how great she has been and welcoming into their home. My first full day (also my 23rd birthday) I was sick all day with some virus I must have caught. I felt so bad that that was my first day but they took care of me and by the next day I was ready to go!

When I write about my experiences here I feel like words and pictures cannot touch the surface of how it has been. There are moments when it is difficult not to feel homesick and long to return; but there are moments that I wish I could relive over and over. Luciana's brother and his girlfriend arrived on Saturday.  Luciana and her brother are from Brazil but have lived in-and-out of Italy throughout their lives. To celebrate their arrival we went to dinner at a restaurant a few miles outside of Fabriano. I had no idea what a fun night that would turn into. It was a Napoli themed restaurant where we went through about four jugs of red wine and were brought 8 different plates of food. I was full the next morning still! They had karaoke and dancing the whole time (I sang Dancing queen) and we took full advantage! When we left the restaurant everyone in there told us goodbye and cheered. It was so much fun. Bu that time it was 12 but we went to the town center where they were having a 70's themed concert.  The back drop for this is: an old castle wall, a clock tower, and a full moon. It's so beautiful and I don't know how to describe that being all around you as you dance and listen to a concert with italian people all drinking and having fun. The next day Claudio, the father of the family im with, arrived back from Dubai. Last night we all went to their countryside home (im surrounded by mountains and hills in this commune). Their grandparents had left during properties for him and his brothers. The backyard is filled with fresh fruit trees and two hammocks. We all hung out out there and enjoyed the beauty out there. Its a small area with a few other families,  I met one and went into their home for a bit and spoke with them before dinner was ready. We had a big italian style barbecue out on the patio with Luciana and Claudio's families. There was so much food! We sat out there for about 2 1/2 hours and watched the World cup, ate, and enjoyed more wine. They also had me try this drink that is made with alcohol, the green stuff from nuts before they are ready, and rosemary. It sits for 3 months before it is ready. I tried fennel and figs for the first time yesterday. I ate fig, plums,  raspberries, and blackberries straight off the tree. Their families are so welcoming and incredible. I cant express enough how much I have enjoyed my time here already. I am learning and growing a lot.

This week I am going to Florence, they are helping me plan my weekends to go visit places throughout Italy that I must see. My position as an au pair is very different than I thought. I feel like I am apart of the family. My primary goal is to help the family with speaking English. They are so great to me. I know my time here is going to be one I will forever treasure!

A week from today I am leaving to work in Italy.  I have wanted to do something like this for Lord knows how long, so as nervous as I am getting, I am just glad it is finally happening.  Being over there for three months seems like awhile when I think of all the challenges ahead, but compared to what I want to do, what I want to learn and experience, and how I want to grow, I don't know if three months will be enough.  I will see how it goes though and let life take me where it may please.  I want to live these precious years to the fullest, they are crucial and irreplaceable. I'm determined to make these years count. :) So, I felt that a blog would be an easy way for family to follow me on my adventures (avventure) while I'm overseas.